Docs opinion

Amy Reinert amy.reinert at GMAIL.COM
Thu Jul 23 21:47:19 UTC 2015


First, let me say I'm so sorry that you've had to endure suffering with
your health.

It is true, as you seem well aware, that despite the fact that many
physicians have extremely large egos, they do not have the ego-strength to
be questioned or found wrong. As both a professional and a human being, I
would hope your current physician would have nothing but joy for you in
discovering another piece of your puzzle. Some of the physician's initial
response might have a lot to do with how you deliver the message, but even
if the response is initially abrasive, you will learn a lot about his/her
personality and integrity if he or she doesn't settle right in and get to
work doing the right thing for you.

Just my two cents, but it seems to me that your first loyalty is to
yourself. You only get this one body to live in. The medical professionals
you seek help from might offer valuable expertise, or they might not. If
the doctor is put off by your seeking second opinions, asking questions, or
politely advocating for your own health, then I would be willing to bet
real money that he or she is not a good doctor, regardless of title or
position. There are some whiffs of malignant narcissism and arrogance
in that sort of behavior, and I state without  reservation that an arrogant
or malicious narcissist will never be a good doctor--- the kind who will
save your life when you are really in trouble.

Still, the medical system exists out there, and patients are still
generally treated badly within it. The docs keep the notes and the people
who write the official note have the power, like it or not. And then there
are insurance companies...

So, in response to the advice you requested, how about just stating what
you wrote here? You respect and trust them, but this thing turned up and
aren't we all lucky that this other doctor had the inspiration to order
this other test. Kind of like winning the lottery because the clerk at the
store you don't usually stop into, but did that day, made a mistake keying
in your ticket.  Maybe not the best analogy, but in general, I think it's
good to count our blessings even when we have to trip over them to see them.

All the best,

Amy Ruzicka, Ph.D.

On Thursday, July 23, 2015, Vic Nicholls <nichollsvi2 at> wrote:

> I have a regular group of docs I trust and respect. Recently, I happened
> to go to another PCP vs. my regular PCP; this doc did some different tests
> and they found an issue.  Very serious issue. It has grown worse.
> I don't know how to let my PCP know that. I don't want them to think I
> betrayed them, that I don't respect/trust them & their expertise/opinions.
> I truly want them to learn from this, but I don’t know how to put this to
> them delicately. I had a previous experience where I got 2nd and 3rd
> opinions and when I went back to the original doc with what happened, it
> did not end well. At all.
> My current PCP has my confidence & respect, the expertise/knowledge and
> the access to many more varied/indepth resources I need as a "zebra". I
> admire their work ethic & their integrity. It means a great deal to me to
> keep them & our relationship, enough so that I’m concerned about that as I
> am these test results that are worsening faster than expected.
> How do I come out of this with a stronger relationship over this issue?
> Suggestions on how to deal with this?
> PS I do NOT consider this a mistake or any fault of my doc. The testing
> they didn't do is NOT an error in judgement. Pretty much by the guidelines.
> Thanks,
> Victoria
> Moderator: David Meyers, Board Member, Society to Improve Diagnosis in
> Medicine
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Moderator: David Meyers, Board Member, Society to Improve Diagnosis in Medicine

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